Sorry. Not Sorry

What's everyone so sorry about, anyway? Women, in my experience, say, "I'm sorry," way too often. Ladies apologize, for things they shouldn't be apologizing for, all the time. In fact, I know girls, who say sorry at the beginning of almost every sentence.

As you read this, your inner-voice might try to justify your compulsion to pepper your language with the word sorry...

  • "I don't want to seem rude"
  • "I'm not a bully"
  • "I'm not arrogant"
  • "I'm just being polite"

We can be polite, without being sorry.

Human beings, of both genders, inevitably commit minor social infractions: burps, spills, goofs, and careless mistakes. In those cases, polite expressions, such as, "Excuse me," or "Pardon me,"  are appropriate responses to these little missteps of daily life.

However, if we use the word sorry to smooth over these all-too-common social blunders, we end up saying that word dozens of times a day, then it becomes a habit. That's where the problem lies, especially for women.

Sorrow is the root of sorry

Sorrow is weighty and grave. Sorrow is reserved for grief and remorse over tragedy. True apologies are intended to atone for deep hurts or grievous offenses. The word sorry signals that we acknowledge fault, and accept blame, for unfortunate, or even deplorable, actions that we caused either directly, or deliberately.

So when we say, sorrysorry, sorrysorry, forty times a day, to everyone we encounter, we put ourselves in a perpetual state of sorrow and guilt, even when we actually are having a pretty good day, and everyone is fine!

The real harm here is that our habitual rehearsal of sorrow makes us feel unworthy, timid, and sad. Worse yet, parroting the word "sorry" cheats us out of the happiness that we truly deserve.


The language of apology diminishes and discredits our legitimate voices, as women. Moreover, that one habitual utterance erodes the respect and credibility that our audience is already willing to grant us, in the first place. Thus, incessantly invoking sorrow undermines our status as capable, empowered women.

Apology is rare

Remember, real apologies express our genuine regret, and our heart-felt request for forgiveness. Real apologies should be reserved for those rare times when we wish we could roll back time, and set things right again. That only happens once or twice in a lifetime.

Stop saying, "Sorry," so much!

So, listen to yourself, the next time you talk. When you hear that sorry word (pun intended) tumble from your mouth, pause, and bust yourself on-the-spot. Reconsider your choice of words. Then, change your language to better fit the situation: "oops," "ugh," "egad," or "shucks" will do just fine, most every time. Smile, and move on, with dignity and happiness in your heart. Change your language; change your life. Trust me, it's that simple.

Friends, there it is. I said it, and I'm not sorry I did!

We're a top team! Gayle

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